Monday, December 19, 2005

the saga of the gerbil car continues

I have the feeling 2006 may very well be the year my ratty little gerbil car (whoa! mixing my rodents here!) goes to the big junkyard in the sky....

Actually the latest couple of incidents aren't really indications of impending car death, but they did allow me plenty of time to really look the poor thing over and see just how decrepit it really is. And it's pretty damned decrepit. Cracked windshield, rusting out (enough that it sometimes leaks when it rains -- how lovely), hood doesn't latch properly (which makes it a thrill to drive on the interstate, especially when it's windy. Yee haa!), makes a whole host of wheezes, groans, whines and rattles when I drive (I cover many of those with the boombox -- which I use because the stereo is shot and to replace would cost more than the car is worth.) And I call it the gerbil car in the first place because it must have the world's smallest engine -- a former boss made the comment that it was powered by gerbils, so gerbil car stuck. Sounds like an absolute charmer, doesn't it?

But I kinda like my ratty little gerbil car. There's a certain level of coolness in driving a tiny, ratty car. Granted it's not much, but at least I'm not trying to compensate for having a tiny little penis like so many guys in their "hot" cars and stupid SUV's (of course, not being a guy I don't have a penis -- tiny or otherwise, but you get my point). Plus it's been paid off for years and is very cheap to run...both really good things.

And it always starts -- or it did...until Friday. I had an appointment at the vet with a couple of my cats, so got everyone out to the car, got in turned the key and...nothing. Didn't even turn over. But I do have one of these cool little jumpstart batteries, so I went back to the house, got it, hooked it up and started the car. Yay! Drove to the vet and did that. Got everyone back out to the car, turned the key. And yet again, nothing. Got the jumpstart battery back out, put it on again, and tried again. Nothing. Crap. So I called my brother (who had the day off, so that was handy) and he came over and gave me a jump. The vet isn't far from my house and it apparently didn't get any charge in that short drive.

We decided it would be best to have the battery checked the next morning, so we drove over to the place to check it. Got out, went in, talked to the guy, he wheeled out the battery testing machine and said "start it up for me," so I reached into my pocket for my keys....which weren't there because they were locked inside my fucking car. Fuck! I don't have a second key...not even at home...because it got misplaced in the move. So we had to wait for someone to come out and jimmy the door. And hour later and $35 poorer, we got the damned door opened and were able to check the battery (which actually turned out to be fine -- I've been sick and not driving much at all over the past two weeks so it didn't get much charge from being driven...and then it's been cold which saps batteries).

So the car actually isn't in any worse shape than it was a week ago -- I just had lots of time to look it over and count it's faults. As I noted before it has lots. So it may very well be nearing the end of the road for my ratty little gerbil car.


Blogger CouldBeAnyone said...

Poor car. It's good to have a new(er), reliable car though.

I once had a decrepit old car... it had two large dents on one side. Traffic in parking lots cleared to let me through. That was kind of nice. On the downside, the car turned left on it's own if you didn't hold the steering wheel tightly.

8:58 PM  

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