enough!
I've had enough of this shit. What is it with male Church fans (especially US ones) that makes so many of them such damned whiny little bastards? Ugghh!
There are some nice ones (and many of the nice ones are very very nice), but I have never dealt with so many nasty, bitchy men before. I often get along better with men in most groups too. There really does seem to be a misogynistic streak in many of them. I wouldn't be surprised by it if I felt that vibe from the band, but I don't. I just get it from a disproportionate number of the male fans. And I wonder where it comes from.
I think they might be jealous. I mean many of these guys have been on these online groups for many years and although I've been around over three years I'm a relative newcomer. And yet I am working for SK selling his art. I sometimes get the feeling some of the guys are thinking "How did she manage THAT?" How? By consistently offering encouragement, advice, and support for his artistic work, and by always being trustworthy and honest with him. That's how. Do you realise I have NEVER asked him to give me anything for free? I've never asked him to give me an early/free copy of any album or song, never asked to be allowed in a show for free, never asked for a freebie painting, never asked him to give me anything that is his livelihood for free. I can't do that. I can't ask him to give away what he does for a living.
I did commission a painting from him that was going to a mutual friend. When I asked how much I owed him, much to my consternation he wouldn't let me pay. We finally agreed the painting would be a gift from both of us -- he would provide the painting and I would take care of the framing and the shipping to the recipient. And he has been extraordinarily generous to me -- giving me various things which I won't specify here, but which I very much love and appreciate. I always make sure to tell him how delighted I am too. I don't want him to think I take him or his generosity for granted, because I don't.
But I'm not doing this to get free or special stuff from him or the band, I'm doing this because I really am impressed with his work and I think I can help him promote it. The funny thing is I thought people who are fans of The Church and of Steve would be happy that he was doing something he liked and was good at, but that hasn't always been the case. It's as if some fear he won't keep doing the stuff they like if he does anything else.
But the misogynistic streak shown by so many male Church fans can't be explained by jealousy of me, of course. It can in my case, but doesn't explain why so many female fans views and opinions are just completely discounted. And they are. As I said earlier, I wouldn't be so surprised if the band members themselves really exhibited this view, but they don't. I suspect many of the guys think women have an easier time getting the attention of the band members simply because they are female, and that pisses them off. Hell, even I had one whiny little bastard get mad at me because SK talked to me more once in Antenna a couple of years ago. He said something like "He just talked to you more because you're a woman." Fuckwit. Did he ever stop to consider that I was talking about something SK wanted to talk about? The whiny bastard, on the other hand wanted to talk about tour logistics, which SK is not at ALL interested in. Nope. Of course it can't be that. It has to be because I'm female. So I suspect that's what makes other women targets too. Don't know why it seems to happen more with fans of this particular band though.
Anyway, I think I may just avoid most male Church fans from now on. I don't need the crap.
There are some nice ones (and many of the nice ones are very very nice), but I have never dealt with so many nasty, bitchy men before. I often get along better with men in most groups too. There really does seem to be a misogynistic streak in many of them. I wouldn't be surprised by it if I felt that vibe from the band, but I don't. I just get it from a disproportionate number of the male fans. And I wonder where it comes from.
I think they might be jealous. I mean many of these guys have been on these online groups for many years and although I've been around over three years I'm a relative newcomer. And yet I am working for SK selling his art. I sometimes get the feeling some of the guys are thinking "How did she manage THAT?" How? By consistently offering encouragement, advice, and support for his artistic work, and by always being trustworthy and honest with him. That's how. Do you realise I have NEVER asked him to give me anything for free? I've never asked him to give me an early/free copy of any album or song, never asked to be allowed in a show for free, never asked for a freebie painting, never asked him to give me anything that is his livelihood for free. I can't do that. I can't ask him to give away what he does for a living.
I did commission a painting from him that was going to a mutual friend. When I asked how much I owed him, much to my consternation he wouldn't let me pay. We finally agreed the painting would be a gift from both of us -- he would provide the painting and I would take care of the framing and the shipping to the recipient. And he has been extraordinarily generous to me -- giving me various things which I won't specify here, but which I very much love and appreciate. I always make sure to tell him how delighted I am too. I don't want him to think I take him or his generosity for granted, because I don't.
But I'm not doing this to get free or special stuff from him or the band, I'm doing this because I really am impressed with his work and I think I can help him promote it. The funny thing is I thought people who are fans of The Church and of Steve would be happy that he was doing something he liked and was good at, but that hasn't always been the case. It's as if some fear he won't keep doing the stuff they like if he does anything else.
But the misogynistic streak shown by so many male Church fans can't be explained by jealousy of me, of course. It can in my case, but doesn't explain why so many female fans views and opinions are just completely discounted. And they are. As I said earlier, I wouldn't be so surprised if the band members themselves really exhibited this view, but they don't. I suspect many of the guys think women have an easier time getting the attention of the band members simply because they are female, and that pisses them off. Hell, even I had one whiny little bastard get mad at me because SK talked to me more once in Antenna a couple of years ago. He said something like "He just talked to you more because you're a woman." Fuckwit. Did he ever stop to consider that I was talking about something SK wanted to talk about? The whiny bastard, on the other hand wanted to talk about tour logistics, which SK is not at ALL interested in. Nope. Of course it can't be that. It has to be because I'm female. So I suspect that's what makes other women targets too. Don't know why it seems to happen more with fans of this particular band though.
Anyway, I think I may just avoid most male Church fans from now on. I don't need the crap.
posted by eek at 5:36 AM
8 Comments:
I haven't had time to read much of HW lately, but I really want to know who you are talking about! HAHAHAHAH.
i understand where you're coming from. i had to stop going to the U2 forum cos the fans were mean, petty and could not handle someone else's differing opinions. They get attacked all the time.
Again, this would be fine if U2 was that way, but they're all for abolishing censorship and hate and all that. Yet these fans are insane! Petty little bastards. I had to give it all up.
Maybe i just won't pay much attention to the Church forum, i don't need that shit too.
Amen sister. I gave up trying to talk to many male Church fans years ago (not all, I have a fantastic friend who is male, and a Church fan!). I always feel discounted, patronized, even hated. My posts and emails never seemed to matter and my opinion counted for nothing. And I have *NO* relationship with anyone in the band other than being a fan. And you're right, the band members have NEVER come across as misogynistic to me. But many of the male Church fans are the biggest, whiniest, bitchiest babies. And yes, that makes me feel good to know that the male Church fans think the band members ONLY talk to us because we're women, or want sex or something. I've never, ever spoken to a band member wanting sex or to be seen as anything other than an appreciative fan of their music. I have enough problems without trying to screw musicians. Ah, forget it. They're not worth the powder...the bitchy male fans that is.
"I've often heard it said that people in the US are among the least aware of anything going on in the world outside of the US and you are proof that statement is true..."
i just HAD to comment on this. you are absolutely RIGHT. i'm not saying this to brown nose, so don't take it that way. i'm american, and it sickens me that my own countrymen/women can't even point their own country out on a fucking globe.
there was an editorial column in my local newspaper about a week ago commenting on the education in the united states. it's piss-poor. every year, more and more seniors graduate high school with barely a 8th-grade reading level. they can't do basic mathematics. and these are the same people who are supposed to be the future??
americans have become so fucking greedy that we will lay off all of our workers so that we can outsource jobs to 3rd world countries so that our bottom line stays huge. the attitude here is "grab as much as you can, while shitting on as many people as you can."
every once in a while i watch the tonight show with jay leno. he does a "man on the street" interview segment where he asks people very basic questions. of course, the people who answer get it incorrect, and the audience roars with laughter. but what really should be happening is that the audience should be appalled. maybe these people who answer are being coached to be stupid for the sake of entertainment, but somehow i don't think so. americans are that uneducated, for the most part.
i would bet that i would piss off quite a few people with these comments, but like i said, i'm a native-born american and i witness the horrors of this country deteriorating every day. steve is absolutely right in what he says, and that is not to brown nose him, either.
americans have degenerated into lazy slobs, uneducated idiots, greedy bastards, etc. our days are filled with cramming doritoes into our fat faces and watching "realty tv" garbage while cutting the throats of our own brethren to make as much money as possible so we can have that big house, that big SUV, that vacation home, etc. and what's REALLY disgusting is that it's actually only a small percentage of the smallest percentage that actually gets to enjoy the spoils of hard work. the rest of us (like myself) work like dogs just to keep the electricity on, meanwhile utility companies and oil companies enjoy record profits.
makes you wanna throw up, huh?
Amen Veleska! I was just going to tell Eek about the stuff Jay Leno does on TV. It's horrifying. Not really funny at all.
It wasn't actually HW this time, Ann, but that other place. ;-)
I knew when I signed up there I should just lurk and occasionally post stuff about SK's art, but then I forget the nastiness and post for a while. Someday I will learn....
HW is generally better, but the whiny boys can break out there too. I would just like to know what attracts so many of these misogynistic men to the Church? I would never have suspected it (of fans of the band) if I hadn't experienced it myself and heard from so many other women who had also experienced it. I'm hoping it's pretty much limited to the online fan community and isn't representative of the fanbase at large.
(And here, of course, is the required disclaimer: Not ALL male Church fans are whiny, bitchy, nasty, misogynistic bastards. Just a disproportionately large number are.)
Perhaps we should make a Church board for women and non-bitchy, non-whiny males.... ;-)
I must admit I have laughed at the "Jay-Walking" segments on Leno, but I often cringe at the same time. It seems to me that stupidity is now revered in the US, and that makes me both angry and sad.
I am often stunned by the "you hate America and Americans, you awful man!" comments directed at SK. I can't help but think when I read such comments that I know the people making them have to be able to read, but I seriously doubt they have much in comprehension skills. Sometimes I find myself screaming at the computer screen "Can't you read and understand???!!!"
Yeah, I know. I get too worked up sometimes....
I know you don't dislike us all. Personally, I think it's great that you're helping out. I don't think you should have to make any excuses or explain anything. This business is between you and SK.
One other thing I would like to say is this. As a hetero male, I would expect Steve (or any other hetero male) to pay a little more attention to a female in a chat room or anywhere else. I know I usually do. It's just human nature.
It's like me saying "I wanted to spend time with Steve after the show but he went with those attractive women instead". Hell, I'm a huge chubby male and the only place I'm not hairy is on my head.
Oh well, I know this is an older post, I just linked to your blog from Steve's and saw it here. Chat with you later.
Joe Camel
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