I think they'll just have to do it without me this time

Not that it matters to anyone but me, because it doesn't. I don't say that to elicit sympathy or pity or such. It's just a simple statement of fact.

I've been planning on seeing them tour for this album since right after the last FY show I saw, even before this album even existed. I always figured I'd see them a few times on this tour too. And I have someone willing to take care of the things that need to be cared for whether I want to go to a concert or not. But this person (my brother) can't do it at the drop of a hat, he needs actual, solid dates so he can get time off. And he's been telling me for several weeks now that he needs set dates as soon as possible. But I haven't seen hide nor hare of those dates, so we can't plan at all which is very frustrating.

And it also occurred to me today that although I've enjoyed reading accounts of the first few European shows -- especially the one in Budapest -- I'm not getting the nearly visceral thrill I've always had before when reading these accounts. Part of that is most likely because I don't know when the US dates will be -- or even if they are going to be -- but part of it also because I'm not a particularly social person and I find dealing with crowds difficult at best. Right now I'm not sure the show or shows will be enough of a thrill for me to make up for the hassle of getting there.

So for the first time in over two years I'm not thinking "When they tour here, I'm going." And I am disappointed, because for so long I was so very excited about the prospect and now I'm just not.

dichotomy

I live in a duplex my brother owns -- he lives on one side; I live on the other.

When I checked the mail today I couldn't help but laugh -- he gets "Guns & Ammo" and "Soldier of Fortune" magazines. Today my "Vegan Voice" arrived.



It's actually a complimentary copy as I helped set up an interview (I just helped with the initial contact). That interview is in this issue, so I wanted a copy. But I think I might just subscribe because the dicotomy is so delicious! And it has quite a few really appealing recipes too...

the power of fuck

It's such a great word. One of my very favourites and the perfect venting word.

Just say the following out loud a few times:

fuck fuck fuck
fuckity fuck
fuck fuck FUCK!

Now don't you feel better?

:-)

the vegetarian thing -- part 2 -- and various ponderings

Had a bit of a backslide at the end of April -- my cravings for a steak got too strong, so I got a very nice ribeye steak, cooked it just the way I like it and had the side dishes I like most with it, and ate it.

And you know what? It wasn't all that great. In fact after a while I began to wonder how on earth I was going to finish it. So I didn't, but the dog was delighted. ;-) Since then I've found it much easier because I'm pretty sure I'd have a similar reaction to most meats now. Anyway, I was a bit discouraged when I first caved in to my craving, but I think it actually was a very good thing as the cravings are definitely not nearly as intense now.

Still on the topic of food -- I cooked up a really nice split pea soup tonight. Very simple -- dried split peas, a vidalia onion, carrots, water, and a bit of salt -- but really tasty. The carrots and vidalia onions make it quite sweet, and I like that. I'll have some tomorrow with crusty french bread. And there is enough to have it several more times too.


Talking with someone tonight about SK's newest blog entry and I mentioned his "televangelist" spiel at the beginning of CA Redemption Value. I haven't listened to Isidore in a few months, but that triggered me to listen tonight. I've listened to it all night. Really looking forward to the new one too.

Also remembered (and re-read) the interview Heather did with Steve about that album. I miss talking to Heather. Found Mario's page on Myspace though, and we are now on each others friends list there. So I guess she's still around.



And something that puzzles me. In reading the comments on SK blog I've come across several similar to this one (which was in today's comments):

"I'm sorry, lately I just feel like Steven is the Enlightened One and if you dare disagree with him on ANY of his pet subjects you're an imbecile and totally UNenlightened."

I must be missing something because I just don't see this. I think he's funny, opinionated, smart, caring, cranky, a terrific writer and musician, and, well, right about a lot of things. I disagree with him sometimes, but hell I disagree with everyone sometimes.

Does SK rant about things? Of course. I got treated to one (not a huge one) on the phone one day when I asked about something -- something we'd talked about before with no hint of a rant from him. I admit I thought "ah shit. Now what am I gonna do?" But he stopped, we went on with the conversation, and I brought the subject up again a bit later and did manage to get a kind of grudging ok from him. Have discussed the same topic a couple more times in the months since with little problem. I think he must have just been feeling pressured. I don't know -- but I do know that I didn't feel as if he thought I was stupid or anything.

I guess I do have the benefit of actually dealing with him, but I don't "measure up" in most ways -- I'm not fit; I need to lose weight; I don't meditate, do yoga, or swim; and I don't share his belief on the god front (not quite sure what I believe there -- just consider me confused). And SK knows this. Yet he's always been kind, decent, and interested in my opinion, even when it differs from his.

But I don't think my opinion would be a whole lot different if I didn't know him because what I believe or do has almost always been at odds with the people around me -- people in my neighborhood, even within my own family. But I've always felt as good (or better ;-) ) than anyone else. So if I feel I'm as good as or better than someone, that person isn't going to be able to make me feel stupid very easily.

I do think there are a few people who irritate SK though. The guy (I'm assuming it's a guy, cause I just can't see a woman doing it) putting very early SK lyrics in the comments. Not sure what that guy thought he was doing.... And the gun guys, especially the one who figured if SK would just come to the range with him, he would suddenly understand. The gun guys seem to think SK only wants to take guns away from decent, law abiding citizens. Whereas what I got is that he doesn't like guns in anyone's hands -- private citizen or government. He would prefer if they didn't exist at all. And I think he is fully aware that what he would like in that regard is a case of what should be, not what is, or even what can be.

And a funny thing about the gun guy who doesn't have any respect for SK now because he said SK negatively stereotyped him and showed him no respect -- he does exactly what he accused SK of doing. He's done it to me. He's pulled the "you people believe [insert stereotypical comment here]" many times in debates. And according to him the only reason SK would deign to talk to me is that I "bought" him (SK). How's that for respect?

myspace

I like it for bands and musicians. I think for them it's a wonderful way to promote themselves and their music, and for fans it's an easy way to check out new music. I do like to backtrack "friends" of the bands I like and see what they sound like. And it's also a good place to send people who are interested in hearing a band I like.

The personal myspace sites however, I'm a bit more ambivalent about. Including -- maybe especially -- my own. I've never really been comfortable with meat markets (ie, "the dating scene" ) and popularity contests and that's what a lot of the personal myspace sites smack of to me. I have seen several which don't really do that, so it certainly isn't everyone. I guess I'm just not sure what the hell I want to do with my page yet. I already have this journal and a blog elsewhere, so my personal musings are certainly covered.

Right now my top eight "friends" are all bands/musicians/labels I want to point people towards. I sometimes check these for other people, so I figured a few would check mine too. Plus I have a song from an artist I admire there. I'll most likely put up different songs every once in a while. I really should start pushing the artwork also. I could do a blog entry and put up photos etc. That might generate a bit of traffic there.

vale

So Grant McLennan's funeral is set to start in a few minutes. Obviously I didn't know him except through his music, and even then really only through the Jack Frost project. I always intended to get several Go-Betweens and solo albums though, and probably will now. Sad that his death is the thing that triggers me to do it.

Anyway, I'm listing to the two Jack Frost cds now as my little remembrance. Can't help but smile during some of the songs (esp. on the first cd) as they seem to be having such a blast. And the video for "Thought I Was Over You" is a lot of fun to watch. I hope the happy times re-emerge as the dominant memories for those close to him.