The Chamberpot Gallery

Yes, it really is a loo with a view.

Some friends of mine thought this up as a way to promote local art, and so far it's a big hit.

Here are some links:

http://www.bradenton.com/mld/bradenton/entertainment/14861999.htm

and a video clip from a local news station:

http://video.wdtn.com/player.cfm?ClipID=1785

enough!

I've had enough of this shit. What is it with male Church fans (especially US ones) that makes so many of them such damned whiny little bastards? Ugghh!

There are some nice ones (and many of the nice ones are very very nice), but I have never dealt with so many nasty, bitchy men before. I often get along better with men in most groups too. There really does seem to be a misogynistic streak in many of them. I wouldn't be surprised by it if I felt that vibe from the band, but I don't. I just get it from a disproportionate number of the male fans. And I wonder where it comes from.

I think they might be jealous. I mean many of these guys have been on these online groups for many years and although I've been around over three years I'm a relative newcomer. And yet I am working for SK selling his art. I sometimes get the feeling some of the guys are thinking "How did she manage THAT?" How? By consistently offering encouragement, advice, and support for his artistic work, and by always being trustworthy and honest with him. That's how. Do you realise I have NEVER asked him to give me anything for free? I've never asked him to give me an early/free copy of any album or song, never asked to be allowed in a show for free, never asked for a freebie painting, never asked him to give me anything that is his livelihood for free. I can't do that. I can't ask him to give away what he does for a living.

I did commission a painting from him that was going to a mutual friend. When I asked how much I owed him, much to my consternation he wouldn't let me pay. We finally agreed the painting would be a gift from both of us -- he would provide the painting and I would take care of the framing and the shipping to the recipient. And he has been extraordinarily generous to me -- giving me various things which I won't specify here, but which I very much love and appreciate. I always make sure to tell him how delighted I am too. I don't want him to think I take him or his generosity for granted, because I don't.

But I'm not doing this to get free or special stuff from him or the band, I'm doing this because I really am impressed with his work and I think I can help him promote it. The funny thing is I thought people who are fans of The Church and of Steve would be happy that he was doing something he liked and was good at, but that hasn't always been the case. It's as if some fear he won't keep doing the stuff they like if he does anything else.

But the misogynistic streak shown by so many male Church fans can't be explained by jealousy of me, of course. It can in my case, but doesn't explain why so many female fans views and opinions are just completely discounted. And they are. As I said earlier, I wouldn't be so surprised if the band members themselves really exhibited this view, but they don't. I suspect many of the guys think women have an easier time getting the attention of the band members simply because they are female, and that pisses them off. Hell, even I had one whiny little bastard get mad at me because SK talked to me more once in Antenna a couple of years ago. He said something like "He just talked to you more because you're a woman." Fuckwit. Did he ever stop to consider that I was talking about something SK wanted to talk about? The whiny bastard, on the other hand wanted to talk about tour logistics, which SK is not at ALL interested in. Nope. Of course it can't be that. It has to be because I'm female. So I suspect that's what makes other women targets too. Don't know why it seems to happen more with fans of this particular band though.

Anyway, I think I may just avoid most male Church fans from now on. I don't need the crap.

this is probably creepy

but I'd like SK to write my eulogy.

What he wrote for Grant, his aunt Irene, even Gerald Georgettis, was so very beautiful. I read so many really great remembrances for Grant, but SK's were among the few really transcendent ones. Even people who don't know or really like SK commented on how good those were. And the one for Irene he actually did read as her eulogy at her funeral (someone who was at the funeral mentioned it in her blog. click here.) And that one was just so sweet. Made me cry.

I want someone to remember me like that.

Besides, if he actually delivered it at my funeral it might help draw a decent crowd. Of course, I'd most likely have to manage to knock off in conjunction with a tour so he'd be here then.

...I wonder if an email saying "Hey, SK, can you write my eulogy for me?" would be too cheeky? And since he's nearly 10 years older than I am, I guess I should tell him he might wanna start on it now. ;-)

ungrateful little sod

I am.

My brother is trying to take a week of vacation to take care of my critters and my down's syndrome aunt so I can go see the Choich, and I am really grateful for that. (once when I was talking to SK and I mentioned her -- don't remember the context, but it had to be that I couldn't do something because I had to take care of her or that I was trying to figure out how to get one of my sibs to care for her for a bit so I could do something -- and he asked "Isn't she their aunt too?" Well, yeah Steve, she is, but it doesn't really work that way in my family. My brother is getting a bit better though. That's a nice surprise.)

I know I'm really lucky to be able to see this band I love so many times. I know many people who will be very fortunate to be able to see them once, several who didn't or won't be able to see then at all this time around, and several who have never seen them and don't stand much of a chance to ever see them. Then there are the many U2 fans who haven't been able to see U2. Many of these folks finally had concert tickets and plane tickets and hotel reservations in place when the last several U2 shows were postponed. And they don't know when, or if, the shows are even going to be rescheduled, or if they are rescheduled, if they will still be able to make the show. So I do know how fortunate I am to have seen them the times I have and to be able to plan to see them so many times this time. And I know I am super fortunate to know and talk to and deal with Steve. That's something I never really expected and still sometimes can't quite believe.

But there are a bunch more gigs on this tour I want to see also, and I'm not sure how I can go. And that's where I become an ungrateful little sod. Because even though he's taking fully half of his vacation to say here and take care of my stuff and I'm most likely going to be able to catch 5-7 Choich gigs in that time, I'm already feeling cranky, bitchy, whiny, surly because there are shows I want to go to, but can't. And I know it will just get worse as the dates get closer. I've already devoted two entries here in the last few days to bitching about the same thing!

Yeah, I'm planning on going to gigs in Myrtle Beach, Atlanta, Falls Church, (possibly) NYC, Sellarsville, and very possibly two more (the tour is still being scheduled), but I wanna go to the Ferndale, Cleveland, and Chicago shows too! And there are still more that could be scheduled in a reasonable area too. I'm sure I'll bitch, whine and moan about not getting to go to those also.

Hell, if I had it my way I would take a couple of days, drive down to Houston in late July and follow the tour through to the last show in the midwest 3 1/2 weeks later. Of course, I know that's never gonna happen, and I would miss my critters terribly too. But I really do wanna hit some of the Midwest shows. And they would be so damned easy to do. But it's very possible I won't be able to do them. And I know I most likely won't be very gratious about missing them either. In fact I will probably be just about unbearable then.

I'll even hate myself.

well fuckity, part 2

So I took my ratty little gerbil car in to get the back part of the exhaust system replaced Thursday and I also got new tires (no point in getting the exhaust fixed without getting new tires since I wasn't going very far on the old tires...) and an oil change. They said it would take two or so hours, so I decided to walk to the Target just down the road.

It was a lovely day and I started off. As I got closer (it was just over 1/2 a mile to the store) I noticed my left foot started to feel odd -- a bit painful too. Then the right one started to feel the same way, and I realised what was happening. I was wearing shoes that although comfortable, I've never really walked a lot in. So what happened is I managed to get large blisters across the bottom of both feet (right across the ball of my foot). They got even larger on the way back to the muffler store.

Then I came home and helped my brother get his motorcycle ready (he does motorcycle endurance racing) and his van and trailer packed so he could head off for the weekend. That took the whole night -- we finished and he left around 4:30 am Friday. So I was on my feet the vast majority of that time.

So today I can hardly walk. The left one is the worst -- I have to curl my toes under so the ball of my foot doesn't touch the ground too much as the blister is quite large and feels a lot like I have a rubber ball stuck to the bottom of my foot. It pretty much prevents me from rolling my foot forward as I normaly do when walking. The right isn't as bad, although it's also hard to step normally on it. And stairs (which I have to use in this place) are really hard! My feet aren't really sore except for those damned blisters. I mean it wasn't really that long of a walk. It was just that the shoes don't work well for that kind of use.

I think they will be a lot bettter in the next couple of days (the right one seems better even now), but it's just kind of embarrassing to be so incapacitated after walking only one lousy mile.

The car sounds good though. :-)

well fuckity

Most of the exhaust system on my car is going to have to be replaced again. I was coming home from Yellow Springs last night when suddenly the car got a really loud. Since I knew what it was, I just turned up the cd player and drove on. But it's really annoying.

Every couple of years pretty much everything after the catalytic converter rusts out and has to go. The last time the catalytic converter had to be replaced as well, but I'm hoping this time it's just the standard bit. The car (my infamous ratty little gerbil car) is old and decrepit and very possibly on it's last legs (tires?), so I don't really want to sink much money into it. But if it can keep going for a while with relatively minor repair that will be good. I'd much rather spend my money on things other than a different car.

I just called a muffler shop and am taking it in tomorrow to get that little problem fixed. I really do hate to drive a roaring car. Be glad to get it fixed.


I need to get my schedule requests in for working the arts coop gallery for July and August. I'm going to ask that I not be scheduled for the last week of July and the first three weeks of August (we each only work two - three days a month there, so it isn't a big deal). And it looks like I'll be missing our big Art on the Lawn show in August too. That's generally a serious no-no as it usually funds close to half of our coop's annual expenses and we are all supposed to work at it, but this year I just do not care. I've helped out every year I've been a member, and if I'm in the area I will help again this year, but if it's a choice of seeing The Church and working the show, I'm seeing the Church.

More importantly than me making sure not to be scheduled is for my brother (who will be taking care of the stuff I usually take care of) to get time off during this time period. He's been asking when I will have the dates for several weeks now since July and August are prime vacation months. I guess since I know most of the dates already I will see if he can get off for some of the east coast shows. Perhaps starting at Myrtle Beach, SC and ending at Sellersville, PA -- so far they have five shows scheduled in that time (although because I'm a chickenshit NYC makes me queasy -- maybe I can find someone to catch a ride with for that one) and they might manage one or two more. And then, depending on what is scheduled for the midwest, I might be able to do a quick trip to one or two of those shows also.

This is one of those times I would so love to be able to have few or no responsibilities and be able to just take off for three or four weeks and follow the tour. See lots of gigs, meet people I've been chatting with online, hell, just not having anyone or anything but me to take care of for a bit. Never really had the chance to do anything like that when I was younger, and if I can swing what I'm trying this time it will be a HUGE deal for me. (of course, I will almost certainly fluctuate wildly between being all excited about it and not giving a shit in the weeks leading up to it. I just know of I don't do it, I will regret it. Especially if they never do another US tour, and that is always a possibility.) Oh how I resented hearing my sister tell of all the shows and events she would go off to just on a whim, but she would never come home for a while and let me take off. I suppose it never occurred to her that I was kind of "stuck" taking care because there was no one else left. Same thing with my brother, except he never was much of a "nurturing" type so I could never really see him doing it anyway. Funny that now when I mentioned to him trying to figure out how I could get to catch some shows this year he said "oh, I can maybe get vacation so you can go." Damn. I never saw that coming!

But then when I really look at my sister's life I see that she's made sure to never have anyone or anything that really needs her. Even the cats came with her boyfriend/husband/ex and when that broke up, the remaining cat went with him. Although she liked the cat, I think she was relieved when she no longer had to think about it. It seems odd to me that her life is so devoid of any real responsibility for anyone except herself, especially when she likes to tell me what I'm doing wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a hell of a lot easier to do it "right" when you don't have several others needing attention and counting on you. For the most part I don't really mind taking care of people, animals, etc., and think I will always have something that needs me (I'm such a sucker for "strays" of all kinds). It's just that sometimes I wish it wasn't so stressful to blow it off and take some time just for me occasionally. Guess this little jaunt around where ever the hell I end up going will take care of that for a while. :-)

CALMING TEA???

OMG! I LOVED SK's blog entry yesterday. I just couldn't stop laughing.

Did anyone else think "what I would give for a video of that?" Or am I a really twisted soul? Just think about it:

The horror when the long blog entry disappears; the swearing (in english and swedish); the rolling around on the floor groaning and swearing (ok, he didn't say he was swearing when he was on the floor, but you just know he was swearing too); the "calming tea? CALMING TEA???"; yelling at the closed door of the swimming pools (when the holiday is the next day); blogger issues; not being able to find a frickin' power outlet for his laptop; ranting about evil reviewers; the "cardboard box" and the "5 minutes of silence" (actually 4:33 of silence -- I looked it up :-) ); even the damned cold weather.

Just one irritation on top of another. And yet the way he wrote it was sooooo hilarious. I was just about crying I was laughing so hard.

I must admit to being able to pitch quite the fit myself. I remember one particular fit well. I don't know what set me off, but I was in rare form. Had to have been about 10-12 years old and I was mad as all hell. Screaming at the top of my lungs and jumping up and down so hard the whole house shook (I had that down to an art form -- my mum told me many years later she kept thinking "that floor isn't so hot...some day she's just going to go right through there if she keeps doing this shit."). In general, making everyone miserable. Well, I somehow decided that going outside and slamming the door would be a great idea, so I did.

And then I heard this unmistakable click as my mum locked me out. Oh. My. God. My rage level ratcheted up to a level not even I thought I could go. I was even more consumed with rage. I'm surprised I didn't blow a gasket. Now the way I could make the house shake when I jumped up and down is to lock my knees when I landed. This worked really well in the house on wood floors. It wasn't so successful on a concrete sidewalk. And it hurt like hell too. So I quickly stopped doing that, but I did scream even louder. And pounded on the door. Because now that I was locked out of the house, I wanted to go back in (so I could continue to scream and jump up and down and make everyone else miserable).

So I headed to the side of the house to open a window and climb in, screaming at the top of my lungs the whole time. So I got the window part way open -- and my mum closed it. I got it open again...and she closed it again. And the level of my rage escalated once again. This went on for a while longer, until I finally got too tired to keep on, and I stalked off to the barn.

I really don't remember much after that. I must have calmed down in the few hours I was locked out, and eventually just went back in the house and got back to my normal routine.

The next time I pitched a screaming fit I headed for the lone bathroom in the house. I figured that would fix 'em. ...unfortunately, bathrooms are incredibly boring after a couple of hours....

just a little walk

Took my dog for a little walk around the neighbourhood today. Not around the whole thing...not by a long shot, just a few times around a several blocks. Not a big deal. But it was to me. Actually that's not true. It wasn't a big deal when I actually did it. But getting up the nerve to do it took a while -- months in fact. Yeah, I know, that sounds silly as all hell. Just how much nerve does it take to walk the dog around a few blocks in your own damned neighbourhood? Well...a lot sometimes.

I'm like a frickin' textbook case of social phobia. Making phone calls is for the most part sheer torture. I've stressed for days before making a phone call, and there are a few phone calls I needed to make last fall. I still haven't made them. Now if I make an appointment to call on a certain day within a certain time period, I can usually do that (that's how I handle calls to SK).

Going to the grocery store, or gas station, or bank, etc. can be tough sometimes although I can generally manage. And I hate crowds. With a passion. Going to a concert is often out of the question unless I really really really really really like the band. So the Choich should feel very special that I like them enough to even consider going to see them...even if I'm kinda chickening out right now. ;-)

So anyway, zeke and I took a walk today. And I think Zeke was more stressed by it than I was. So either I have a really fucked up dog, or I did better than I thought.

the vegetarian thing -- part 3

I got my brother to eat vegetarian chili last night. My niece wanted to eat at my place (mostly to play with the cats I think) so I said "sure, I'll make some chili!" I'll tell you, the look he gave was "Oh dear god, I'm gonna die." But he did manage a somewhat graceful save of "uh...ok. umm...sure, that...that sounds good." Ye gods, it's chili. Chili is nearly impossible to fuck up, no matter what you do or don't put into it!

Anyway, it was good (duh!) and my brother was pleasantly surprised. He kept saying "that was good. That was really quite good." Yeah. Like I'm gonna feed him garbage. But I must say I was pleased that he liked it. And today he called and said he and my niece were at the grocery store picking up stuff for dinner -- corn on the cob, broccoli, stuff for tossed salad (they also got chicken to grill) -- and wondered if that and baked potatoes would be good. While my first thought was "Holy crap, we don't need all of it at one meal!" I couldn't help but be touched that all of a sudden he seems more comfortable and accepting of this "vegetarian thing."